I love Gillian Anderson, she’s done some amazing work. Like many nerds, I loved X-Files when I was young, and more recently I loved Sex Education (that bit when all the girls got on the bus together absolutely shattered me). But I would bet every single penny in my bank account that she didn’t work on either of these shows for free. What’s more, I imagine she wouldn’t agree to do this kind of work without being credited. Let’s talk about ‘Dear Gillian‘, her latest project with Bloomsbury Books!

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I GET THE BEST MAIL. This guest blog is an (almost entirely unedited) email from a reader saying thanks for the audio porn. And while normally I wouldn’t publish emails that consist of people saying nice things about me, this contained an ingenious use of audio that I wanted to share with you all. I often hear from people who say they listen to the audio with their partner, or share links with people they’re shagging to start a chat about new kinks/things to try, but this piece – from Fahrenheit – includes a beautifully creative use of audio porn during sex that had not occurred to me. I am so grateful for this – it brings me a proper thrill to learn that people are out there getting their kinky fuck on to the work that I (and the amazing team of guest writers/readers) produce here.

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Let’s get this out of the way to start with: I am not foolish enough to believe I’m the first person ever to wonder what kinky sex is like in the Dark Materials universe. Specifically in Lyra’s world, one in which everyone has their own daemon – a creature with whom you share a connection, who accompanies you at all times, and essentially functions as an external manifestation of your soul. The second you create a world with such creatures, and moreover declare that it’s taboo to touch someone else’s, inevitably you’re going to prompt a generation of perverts to grow up wondering what it’d be like to have your lover’s snake-daemon wrapped around your throat while they rail you. I know I’m not the first to explore this horny avenue, and I certainly won’t be the last. But it’s fun to ponder the implications of a world in which a part of your soul manifests in the form of an animal which is both reflective of your personality yet physically distinct from your human body, and how that might lend itself to some outrageously hot fuckplay. Strap in, my friends, cos this is gonna get… how shall I put it? … bestial.

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There are two levels on which I’m enjoying dinner. On the surface, the main conversation – catching up with friends I’ve not seen in years. Beneath the table, something even better – his thigh nudging against mine. The oh-so-casual initial pressure that could easily be written off as an accident conjures a flash of possibility as I realise that… yeah… this guy just might want to fuck me. A rush of teenage horn flushes across my skin as I decide that I’m gonna nudge him back to find out for sure. Meeting his pressure, thigh-against-thigh, I remind myself that this guy has a wife.

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No sooner had we recorded some of @JenetalTorture‘s amazing guest blogs as audio porn (check out her first one – a hot first-time estim session – here) than she had racked up a brand new adventure to share as a guest blog. One so far beyond the kink-levels of her previous posts that it gave me a new insight into the meaning of the word ‘degradation.’ As well as degradation, the following post contains humiliation, ABDL (which stands for Adult Baby Diaper Lover) and ageplay. Everyone in this post is a consenting adult well over the age of 18, but this note is here so that if you don’t consent to read about these kinks, you can click away to less pervy pastures. This guest post also features messy diapers, piss, snot and a valuable lesson for people like me who sometimes like to call ourselves kinky: no matter how horny you are, there’s usually someone who still has the capacity to out-kink you. If you don’t know who that is, it’s probably Jenby.

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