Category Archives: Unsolicited advice
If you wouldn’t share their nudes, don’t share their sexts
The other day, I texted a man about his penis in all-caps, simply saying ‘TOUCH IT’. In context, it made sense, however should that man ever take against me, he has not only that but countless other random enthusiastic sex-related texts that he could (though hopefully never would) make public. Including the ones in the image for this post. I think words are pretty powerful, and if you wouldn’t share someone’s nudes (which you absolutely shouldn’t – no, not even if they were sent to you non-consensually) please don’t share their sexts either.
Saying ‘no’ is not always easy
‘No’ is a complete sentence, sure. But if you get partway to shagging someone, saying ‘no’ can be genuinely difficult, especially if you want to give them an explanation for why you’ve changed your mind. I’m going to tell you about one of the most awkward ‘no’s I’ve ever said. It’s not the most awkward ‘no’, just one of them. It starts on the south bank of the Thames, around autumn 2020.
It’s hard for me to judge the tone of this piece, and editing it proved tricky. But just so you know up front: this story has a happy ending.
Come on holiday with me and my best mate
I’m down at the moment, and sometimes when I’m down I like to wallow in romance. But it’s not romance like ‘we’re getting married’ or romance like ‘we’re gonna fuck’, it’s the romance that pulses through friendship – steady and unwavering and safe and comfortable – never needing to escalate because it’s already right where it should be. Come on holiday with me and my best mate.
You already know if you’ll buy the Doxy bullet vibe, right?
Attention everyone! Doxy has released a bullet vibe! To be honest, I reckon I could end the blog post there and quite a few of you would buy a Doxy bullet purely on the basis of the fact that we’ve all heard of Doxy and we know they’re great. You would be correct to do so, because it’s excellent, but I’d be abandoning my duty of care to your genitals if I didn’t also tell you a bit about it. Namely: it’s powerful, shiny-as-fuck, and the vibration patterns appear to have a chaos mode.
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The best kind of bad dates
You might think that bad dates are – by default – an undesirable thing. The clue’s in the name – they’re bad dates! But although I’ll happily swerve terrible first dates where the person I’m with doesn’t ask any questions, or dates where they reveal ten minutes in that they’re a not-so-secret Tory, there’s one kind of bad date that will always have a special place in my heart.