I’ve written quite a lot about anxiety here on the blog, but I don’t think I’ve ever written anything as beautiful as this guest blog on performance anxiety. The way he captures the minutiae of life intruding on sexual pleasure, then zooms out to place those in the context of larger existential panics – it properly punched me in the heart. If you’re thinking of pitching me a guest blog but you’re nervous, please read this and see that you don’t always have to focus on one specific story, or give a super-comprehensive and detailed piece of advice: sometimes the best sex writing is about capturing a feeling, articulating it beautifully, and then sharing it to help other people feel a little less alone.

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This week’s guest blogger tells me – tantalisingly – that this story ‘may or may not be inspired by true events.’ I only pass this on to you so that you, like me, can tingle with a thrill of delicious envy when you read about the adventures of two people setting foot in a Bond villain mansion… and being invited to embrace their inner voyeurs as the guests took advantage of the many many bedrooms…

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Sluts, eh? We’re incorrigible. No sooner do we read about someone holding their spunk in for 30 days in order to deliver an epic cum shot than we’re persuading people in our own lives to try abstinence so we can experience an epic load of our own. That’s what happened in this week’s guest blog, as the frankly heroic @girlinjail – after reading about how my toyboy gallantly partook in No Nut November and then painted my insides with jizz – persuaded the husband in a couple she’s fucking to try abstaining from orgasm so that she could experience an entire month’s worth of cum. You’ve met this couple – Mike and Elly – before, when Girl in Jail persuaded them to try jump-humping (another heroic endeavour which resulted in that rocket-fuel hot guest blog). And you’ve also read some of GJ’s other adventures too, when she tried out the Electrastim KIX. Now you get to join me in falling at her feet to worship her newest and sexiest guest post: the culmination of Mike’s abstinence, as Elly watches Girl in Jail get covered in a month’s worth of cum. Truly, honestly: we are not fucking worthy.

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Just as there’s something exciting about hearing the letterbox go and seeing a handwritten card instead of some random spam from Sky Broadband, so my heart leaps when my inbox pings and instead of a boring press release it’s a guest blog pitch from Jenby! WOOOO! Today the fabulous @JenetalTorture is back with another gloriously fun, sexy account of a kink I’ve never tried myself: being a human ashtray.

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I probably don’t even need to write an intro for this one. The awesome Focused and Filthy (@FocusedFilthy) – she of the astonishingly hot blog, gorgeous photographs, and deliciously creative fucking, is here to tell you about the ‘hat trick’. And by ‘hat trick’ she means getting cum in each hole. As I say, needs no introduction. As long as I’ve SEO’d it properly, this is going to be the one of the most popular guest blogs of 2022, possibly of all time (and I’ve been doing this for eleven years). Missy’s exceptionally filthy and joyous descriptions of getting cum in her mouth, cunt and ass live up so beautifully to the promise of the title, I have no doubt that this post will launch ten thousand wanks. Have at it.

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