Lots of people bemoan the fact that social media is a bubble, filled only with people who agree with you. It gives a skewed worldview, and leads to things like me weeping with bitter tears the morning after the Brexit vote, because I couldn’t quite believe the world wasn’t quite as I’d imagined it. But there are up-sides: your Twitter feed, properly curated, can essentially be a long list of people whose opinions, ideas, and words you find sexy. Given this, you may want to consider fucking them.

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It’s been a while since I posted a ‘two things’, so in case you’ve forgotten – ‘two things’ is a weekly post highlighting one good thing and one bad thing in the world of sex. Today in the ‘bad’ column – a reddit thread in which men are invited to have opinions on how women should behave. And ‘good’ – a sexy storytelling event in London called Smut Slam, which you should go to if you get the chance. If you read to the end there’s also a bonus competition to win an Eroticon ticket…

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I have a giant Twitter crush. In fact, I have more than one giant Twitter crush. The problem with Twitter is that it is a window into the sexiest thing about someone: their mind. The extra problem with Twitter is that it’s a curated space – people use their Twitter accounts to tell jokes and stories, or post funny pictures of weird things they’ve done. In short: it’s a place where all the guys I would usually fancy get to show off the things I am most attracted to.

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Today’s guest blog covers a topic I’ve wrestled with in the past: who gets custody of the sex toys when you split up with someone? It’s not just a financial wrangle – although with the price of some high-end toys it certainly can be – but the emotion involved in things you’ve used and loved together. It’s an utterly gorgeous post, and I’m delighted to be able to bring guest blogs back with something so lovely – please welcome this week’s guest blogger Nic.

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GOTN is on holiday until next week. In her absence, please enjoy this poem which she started writing in a workshop ages ago, then added some bits to, then read at the SheVibe bawdy poetry slam during The Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit.

As with everything Woodhull-related, it would not exist without Doxy, who not only make my favourite ever sex toy, they also sponsored me to go, so please show them lots of love. I suggest following them on twitter and .@-ing them with a message of intense affection such as ‘you make my life complete’ or ‘I cannot imagine a future without you.’ If enough of you do it then it will simultaneously delight and confuse the hell out of them.

UPDATE: the wonderful @ninjasexology has added some new verses to the poem – in italics below and they’re AMAZING. You should check out her wonderful blog, where she showcases her collection of utterly incredible, often very girthy, and always imaginative dildos.

If you’re better at titles than GOTN is, feel free to suggest one in the comments.

xxx

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