This morning I received a strongly worded letter from the Sex Blogger’s Association, informing me that as I have not yet written any custom content for Masturbation Month, they will soon be removing my Fuckblogger badge and ripping up my membership card. The only way out of this is to write some sauce that explicitly references ‘Masturbation Month.’ So here goes: 10 wank fantasies that you can steal/tweak/edit and enjoy at your leisure.

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Welcome to the first in a series of sex-toy focused posts by me, Luke – your sex toy correspondent. Today I want to tell you why the Tenga Flip Hole is my favourite sex toy. If you, or anyone you love, has a penis that they enjoy using in a masturbatory context, you should buy this toy. If I’m brutally honest, I have had sex less satisfying than an evening to myself with my Tenga Flip Hole. This is a proper ‘light some candles, pour yourself a bath and put on some Barry White’ level treat-yo-self wank.

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I like watching men jizz themselves involuntarily. It’s one of my favourite kinks, and the driving force behind me doing all kinds of odd things, like making a custom mount for my Fleshlight Launch so I could watch it milk my partner dry of spunk. If you’re interested in involuntary orgasms as well, then I have two things I’d like to introduce you to. The first is the amazing work of @Perfect_Match_X, who produces gorgeous videos of various men being restrained and then wanked to completion while they make delightful orgasmic noises, and the second is the JETT – an unusual new sex toy from Hot Octopuss.

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Is there such a thing as ‘feminist porn’? I’m genuinely surprised to learn that some people think there isn’t. It’s quite a philosophical question, encompassing as it does the definition of what ‘porn’ actually is, and prompting me immediately to wonder: if there’s no such thing as feminist porn, what would self-pleasure look like if the whole world was feminist?

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Not something I ever thought I’d experience, to be honest, but courtesy of the incredible ElectraStim AXIS… here’s a blog post about feeling music throbbing inside my ass.

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