Let’s get this out of the way to start with: I am not foolish enough to believe I’m the first person ever to wonder what kinky sex is like in the Dark Materials universe. Specifically in Lyra’s world, one in which everyone has their own daemon – a creature with whom you share a connection, who accompanies you at all times, and essentially functions as an external manifestation of your soul. The second you create a world with such creatures, and moreover declare that it’s taboo to touch someone else’s, inevitably you’re going to prompt a generation of perverts to grow up wondering what it’d be like to have your lover’s snake-daemon wrapped around your throat while they rail you. I know I’m not the first to explore this horny avenue, and I certainly won’t be the last. But it’s fun to ponder the implications of a world in which a part of your soul manifests in the form of an animal which is both reflective of your personality yet physically distinct from your human body, and how that might lend itself to some outrageously hot fuckplay. Strap in, my friends, cos this is gonna get… how shall I put it? … bestial.

(more…)

There’s a documentary currently running on All4 called ‘My Massive ****’ – it’s about living with a huge dick and dealing with some of the down-sides of having one. I’m not here to rant about the concept (which is interesting), but I think there is a huge problem with the show itself, and it annoyed me enough that I’m bumping today’s planned post to Wednesday, so I can spend a little time yelling at Channel 4. Because although C4 does often have some great sex output, this particular programme is appalling from a consent perspective. It treats some pretty extreme consent violations like they’re one big joke, and fails to mention that in some cases violations of this kind may well be against the law. This problem could (and should) have been spotted and solved long before this show aired. Channel 4, please sort your shit out.

(more…)

Have you watched Netflix’s How To Build A Sex Room? Episode one is not indicative of the show overall, so if you’ve only watched the first it might be worth sticking with it. When I first settled down to watch it, I was deeply frustrated by its giggly, sex-is-a joke attitude. Not to mention the fact that they didn’t do what they’d promised us in the title they would: show us How To Build A Sex Room. The programme was lacking in all the details a horny amateur DIY enthusiast would need, such as how to determine which fixings to use for mount points (they call them ‘hard points’ which I think is less sexy) and which fabrics give the best attractive-yet-wipe-clean finish. BUT. I stuck with it, because I like watching people talk about kink equipment, and now I’m here to tell you all that How To Build A Sex Room is actually fucking GREAT.

(more…)

There are certain TV shows that make for awesome foreplay. Your choice of show will depend on your style and desires, but I’m sure you know the kind I mean: those which consistently give you flashes of horny fuck scenes that will play on your mind long after the credits roll. This week’s awesome guest blog is about a single scene in one of those shows. When he originally pitched it to me, I remembered the exact moment – “slap me” – from the mouth of a character who wouldn’t usually be submissive. And it gave me echoes of the horn that I felt when I’d watched that show too. I only wish I could have taken the cum-trigger hotness of it and put it into practice as spectacularly as this…

(more…)

Society will not officially be over its sexual hang-ups until it no longer seems refreshing or surprising to see romcom lovers fuck doggy-style. Until a heroic character can casually suck off a stranger and not be punished for it in act three. We will know when we’re over our squeamishness about fucking when Batman (who literally kills people on screen) is allowed to give Catwoman head. Sadly, news just in: Batman can’t give head.

(more…)