In drama at school we used to play a warm-up game that involved cutting a deck of cards to determine each character’s status. We’d be given a scenario, let’s say person A is a teenager who’s broken a vase during a house party while their parents were away, and B and C are the parents returning home. If you just tell people to play what they think those characters should do, the scene will run in a fairly obvious way. Parents discover the accident, interrogate their kid about how the breakage happened, the child is suitably apologetic/nervous of the consequences, etc. However, if you have each person cut the deck of cards and replay the scene, this time assuming status and power depending on which card they got, things look very different. Let’s say the kid gets a Jack or a Queen, Mum gets a 9 and Dad picks a 2. Now the kid has the most power, and might end up berating their parents for owning something so expensive in the first place. Mum is the kid’s semi-obsequious sidekick, agreeing with him while occasionally sniping at Dad for not anticipating that this might happen before he booked their weekend away. Dad grovels before both of them, frantically trying to make amends for an accident that, in his low-status role, he’s entirely reframed as his fault. See what I mean? Status isn’t inherent to each character, it’s determined by the luck of the draw. And status, power and playfulness are all at the heart of my idea for a Blackadder Threesome. Here’s one for all the horny switches.

(more…)

It’s that time of year again! February! The bit just before the 14th when everyone’s telling you to buy sex toys. Instead of just telling you to buy stuff, I am going to share with you some horny ideas for Valentine’s Day, then tell you that if you like those ideas you’re welcome to reward me by giving me good girl points clicking the links and buying cool things from the companies which sponsor this website. There are some amazing companies on the list (porn! Audio porn! Sex toys!), and my horny ideas are all ones you and a partner (or two, or three, or four) can put into practice with (I hope) relatively little effort, and either low cost (all but one are less than £50) or completely free. Don’t say I never treat you right. And even if you’re not in the market to buy, I hope you’ll enjoy these mini porn stories anyway. I had a super horny time writing them.

(more…)

This gorgeous story – ‘Beg me’ – was written by David of The Big Gay Review. It is read here by Luke. 

I’m bent over the dining table, my arse framed by the thick nylon straps of my jock. I sway my hips, wriggling my butt in his direction. He gets up, and runs his hand over my smooth, hairless cheek. I reach back and run my hand over the growing bulge in his jeans. His button pops open, allowing me to slip my hand inside and feel the warmth of his cock radiating through his boxers.

(more…)

I GET THE BEST MAIL. This guest blog is an (almost entirely unedited) email from a reader saying thanks for the audio porn. And while normally I wouldn’t publish emails that consist of people saying nice things about me, this contained an ingenious use of audio that I wanted to share with you all. I often hear from people who say they listen to the audio with their partner, or share links with people they’re shagging to start a chat about new kinks/things to try, but this piece – from Fahrenheit – includes a beautifully creative use of audio porn during sex that had not occurred to me. I am so grateful for this – it brings me a proper thrill to learn that people are out there getting their kinky fuck on to the work that I (and the amazing team of guest writers/readers) produce here.

(more…)

You’ve got a fabulous dick, sweetheart. And I really do love taking it into my mouth and trying my best to get you to come down the back of my throat. But today I have a different request. It’s something I’ve been fixating on when I touch myself and think about you. And on the surface it won’t seem horny, but I promise you it really really is, just hear me out as I ask you… please may I not suck your cock?

(more…)