Girl on the Net

If there’s a topic on which I’m likely to bond with almost anyone in the world, it’s suckjobs. Take note, lest you and I are ever stuck in a lift together and need to make smalltalk for a few hours till the fire brigade comes, opening with ‘I love giving blowjobs, how about you?’ will guarantee we fill the time without ever needing to mention how the weather’s been lately. This week’s guest blogger has this in common too – JD loves giving blowjobs, and is here to explain in delicious and sexy detail exactly what’s so hot about them. Sadly, as a bisexual AMAB person (AMAB = assigned male at birth), in order to indulge in their love of cocksucking, JD has had to put up with a hefty amount of biphobia and other fuckery from the people whose dicks they’re sucking. Here today with the perfect blend of ‘horny content’ and ‘important education on how not to be a cock when you’re getting your dick sucked’, they explain…

Why I love giving blowjobs (despite everything)

From a bisexual genderqueer AMAB sometimes-slut

He came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist, hair damp, skin damp. We were part of the same inadvisable foursome – I was dating his girlfriend, he was dating my best friend – but he and I weren’t fucking. Looking at the trail of dark hair leading down under the towel and the hint of a bulge, though, I felt my mouth start to water. I had to restrain myself from sliding off the couch and yanking his towel down, at least until I asked him a bit breathlessly if I could suck his cock and he had responded with a slightly baffled “Sure…?”

A cock has a lovely feel to it, a warmth and a heft and a density and all kinds of interesting layers. It smells amazing (I only fuck people I think smell delightful) and the different textures involved are pleasant and interesting – in my fingers, on my lips, on my tongue, in my mouth, in my throat.

I was on my knees, pulling the towel down, wrapping my fingers around the base of his rapidly-growing cock, hungry to get my mouth on it as soon as I could. Later, I’d think about the smell (soap-clean skin with just a hint of musky sweat and the promise of more), the feel (growing, swelling, throbbing), and the taste (that inimitable taste of clean, delightful skin and the sweet-salty glaze of precome over it)… remembering them all over and over again. But in the moment it was just need.

I love giving blowjobs to dildos too

A silicone cock is no less fun than a biocock. There are differences, sure, but when a cock is bobbing in front of me and its owner is looking desperate or anticipatory or predatory, why would I take the time to worry about its composition? But I didn’t discover how much fun a dildo can be for blowjobs until much later, when an enthusiastic lover gushed about how much she loved receiving them and I enthusiastically offered to give her some more.

I was eager. I was desperate. I was out of practice, but that didn’t matter much to a couple of twenty-year-olds. I couldn’t deep-throat then – it was decades before I developed that skill; my current partner and I were both delighted when I swallowed a dildo to the hilt for the first time – but that was only a disappointment to me.

I’ve got a lot of internalized shame about giving blowjobs. There’s the societal presentation of blowjobs as a chore, and a thing the blowjob-performing person “never enjoys” unless they’re a (societally stigmatized) “slut”, and that means that the degree to which I simply enjoy it feels inherently Wrong. That mostly only gets in the way of starting to give blowjobs; I enjoy them pretty thoroughly when I’m in the middle of giving one.

A blowjob is never an obligation

He warned me, sometime after I started, that he didn’t come easily from blowjobs. I didn’t care. I was already getting what I wanted: his cock in my mouth, his smell in my nostrils, looking up and watching him go from watching me in disbelief to throwing his head back in enjoyment. His come would be a bonus, but I was having a great time, and I was happy to just keep sucking his cock.

Sure, sometimes giving a blowjob is a lot of work. Sometimes it being a lot of work is a hot part of the scene. “How long can you tolerate having your throat used? Can you go a bit longer? I bet you can…”

Sometimes it can feel like a chore. “I want my partner to come, and it’s taking forever today, but I just found a thing that’s working and I’m going to do it without changing until they come or I die.”

But it’s not something I’m willing to let be an obligation. I might accept negotiated obligations to support my partners’ health and wellbeing in various ways, subject to sustainability and so forth, but no matter how important a healthy sex life is to someone’s state of mind, giving a blowjob (specifically a ‘blowjob’ and specifically ‘me doing it’) is never going to be a part of that.

He came in my mouth, surprised, whimpering, legs shaking and fingers tangled in my hair. I happily kept his cock between my lips, working my tongue up and down as he softened, until he shivered and pushed me away, suddenly overwhelmed with post-orgasmic sensitivity. I would have gladly stayed there until he got hard again.

Love giving blowjobs, hate biphobia

There’s also, of course, the pressure I felt growing up extremely not straight in a fundamentalist Christian community and having to hide it; the terror of growing up in the tail end of the shadow of the AIDS crisis, and going through formative years where “gay” was the most common pejorative term for everything under the sun. Plus, biphobia is a constant abrasion; over and over I have been too gay for women, too straight for men.

After we were done, he said something about how I was straight. Not how he had thought I was straight – that I was straight. Straight? With his cock in my mouth? He was delicious, but not so delicious that I was willing to have that argument to get his pants off again. I had spent long enough having my bisexuality erased – just completely forgotten about by people who really ought to know better – that I was sick of it. I wasn’t going to suck his cock without having that argument, and I was tired of having it, so I was done.

We didn’t talk much after that; I didn’t want to deal with his bi erasure and he was bad at communication. He and my best friend broke up not long after that, and his girlfriend and I had only ever been dating out of convenience. My best friend and I refer to them as “The Mistake” to this day – somewhat fondly, although mostly with an exasperated head shake.

But I still think about his cock pressing against his towel as he came out of the shower that day, and despite everything – despite the hard work by him and so many other cock owners to make blowjobs seem unappealing and inconvenient and off-putting to give – I still love giving blowjobs.