Girl on the Net

I’m going to keep the intro short and sweet this week – you’ve already met rmp792 in previous guest blogs, and heard his lovely voice reading sexy audio about such kinks as women in armour and begging. Today he’s here to give you some tips on (and a hot example of) using phone sex to connect over a distance. Your voice is one of the sexiest things about you. I’ll let him explain how you can use it to get your partner horny, even if you’re oceans apart…

Phone sex – how to connect at a distance

Alone. It’s always been a powerful word. I imagine that a lot of us have felt alone over the last several months. Quarantine restrictions all over the world have left people feeling cut off, unable to see their friends, families or fuck buddies in person. Especially now with restrictions changing and shifting unpredictably, things are far from easy. Masks, social distancing: these things may be wise and necessary but that doesn’t make them any easier. Humans are social creatures, we seek each other out. Being confined alone is officially listed as a form of torture by the Geneva Convention. Thankfully in these trying times we have something no generation before us has had: we have the internet.

Ever since this all started I’ve seen an increase in articles from people trying ideas like ‘Skype Dates’, explaining the art of maintaining a sexual relationship when many miles keep you apart. My issue with most of these articles is they’re written assuming that such a relationship is a consolation prize, something that an already existing couple should try if they can’t get together normally. I, however, had been in such a relationship for around a year when all this started, so I want to espouse its benefits, and give you all some advice on making it work.

A distant meeting

For me it all started with a post on a forum that sadly no longer exists. I’ve talked in the past about my love of the human voice, and this particular forum catered to that. It gave people with a vocal kink the chance to connect and one night I worked up the courage to leave an offer. For some time I had been interested in the concept of begging, but I hadn’t had the opportunity to explore it in real life. As such the post was relatively simple: I wanted to find a friend who might be interested in exploring begging and other related kinks.

Before I go on I want you to take a moment and identify the most important word in that sentence. For me by far the most important word was ‘friend’. I wasn’t looking for something quick or casual, I was looking for someone I could talk to when I was feeling low. Someone who would tell me about their day, and yes someone with whom I could explore my new found kink.

I’m not going to lie. I was extremely fortunate. I’d tried something similar several months before without success, but on this occasion I received a message from someone interested in exploring those things and we started talking.

It began with messages back and forth, some of them short, some so long that I had to split them across multiple messages because I exceeded the character limit. Apparently I waffle when I’m interested. I’m sure you’re all shocked to hear that.

Then came the first call. Which was simultaneously easy and a massive pain in the neck. The easy part was how to do it, if you’re aiming to talk these days you have a wide range of options. We went with Discord because it’s free and fairly easy to use, and it’s also focused on audio rather than video which was what we were after. The hard part came from our locations, most notably the Atlantic Ocean being in our way. Time zones aren’t really something you think about until you try to arrange a chat with someone who’s five or six hours out of sync with you. So let me say this simply: time zones can go fuck themselves. Unfortunately they’re also something that has to be dealt with and we were eventually able to find a time we could both do. We talked, and it was great. But I know what you’re all waiting for, you are after all reading a sex blog. So how does sex work when you’re 3800 miles apart?

Sex at a distance

I know you’re all waiting for me to answer that question, and I promise I will, but I need to deviate for a moment first and ask you all a question. Have you ever played a Table Top Role Play Game? I have – in fact I run one. For anyone not familiar with the term ‘Dungeons and Dragons’, it’s the famous granddaddy of the genre. While there are a lot of different options, ultimately they all revolve around a group of players reacting to a story being told by the GM or ‘Game Master’. My sex life is surprisingly similar.

It is a fantasy, but it’s a shared fantasy.

It begins with words. I usually take the lead, my voice guiding the fantasy. I tell her how I would touch her, how my lips would caress her skin, how my body would press against hers. I listen for her reactions, the shudders and gasps as she touches herself, the things she says to guide my telling of our shared story. As I talk my own hands reach down my body, I take my hard cock in my hand and begin to slowly stroke.

I keep talking. In our fantasy my hands caress her body, teasing her skin. My tongue tasting her cunt pushing her close to the edge, but not yet over it. I ask her my favourite question:

‘What do you want?’

I hear her breath catch for a moment and then she answers with three simple words.

“Fuck me, please.”

Our fantasy shifts. We have passed the slow steady teasing buildup. Now I speak with swift intensity, my words matching pace with the motion of my hand. I can hear her reacting faster as we both come closer to release. Inside our fiction I have her pinned beneath me as I thrust into her. Her voice is coming out in short gasps now, and I hear her begin to beg. We are both so close to release, and with my permission she cums hard enough that her microphone blows out for a moment, and that tips me over the edge myself.

But, I hear you ask, aren’t you ultimately just lying in a room and masturbating by yourself? And while technically you are correct, there is so much more to it than that.

There is something that has happened several times when doing this that has never happened to me at any other time. I started getting pins and needles across my entire body. It started with my fingers and toes then the top of my head. I was so damn turned on that every drop of blood in my body was making a determined effort to squeeze itself into my cock. I have never been so aroused. When I finally came, my brain all but shut down. My capability for thought was all but gone and all I could do was say goodnight before going to sleep.

That is what the power of a shared fantasy did to me. The connection to another person elevates the purely physical act to something far more intense and satisfying, and I hope and believe that the same is true for my partner.

Making it Work

I hope that I have inspired some of you to give this a try, whether with an established partner you can’t see, or with a whole new person. If that is the case then I have a few last minute tips.

First as with all good sex, communication is key. Discuss the fantasy you’ll be sharing beforehand to make sure that you’re both comfortable and enthusiastic about it. It can even be a way of playing with a fantasy you like the idea of but would be uncomfortable actually doing. Although that is definitely something to talk about first.

Second, you must respect your partner’s time. This is particularly true when working across timezones, but it applies to us all. Life is complicated and while we all appreciate a rapid response to our messages that isn’t always possible. Accept going in that there may well be times when their responses will be slow. That doesn’t mean they don’t care, only that there may well be something distracting them, or if they’re anything like me they may well be spending an hour trying to come up with the perfect flirty response before deciding to just respond with a nice safe ‘OK’. Trust me it happens more often than you would think.

Third, what you’re doing is ridiculous. Don’t be afraid to laugh. Sex is supposed to be fun, and while an experience like this can be amazing when you get into it, losing that sense of fun will spell disaster. Try not to let yourself get frustrated by technical issues, or an unexpected knock at the door – these things happen, and laughing at them together will only help the experience.

Lastly, if the fantasy and your own hands aren’t enough for you to feel satisfied you have an increasing array of options. Teledildonics may be a relatively new field but it’s already invented some interesting ideas. Remote controlled vibrators for example can give one of you a very real feeling of control, while heightening the physical sensation for the other. Or if one or more of you has a penis then GOTN’s recent experiments with dick cloning kits could provide some inspiration for a way to add more tangibility to a long distance relationship. I don’t doubt that there are far more options that have not occurred to me, besides you know your own body best and I’m sure you can find something that works for you.

I hope that some of you reading will find this useful and do try to remember that even in times such as these, you’re never quite as alone as you think.